So I just finished my first exam and I'm in the library attempting to study for my final one tomorrow. This being the last time I'm going to be hanging out here, I thought I'd blog just for the sake of it. At 10 o'clock, I see the guy from my Shakespeare class, and he is burnt so red I want to pour cartons of milk over him to save his skin. (It was 32 degrees today: hot, dry and with plenty of flies flying straight up my nostrils.) Straight ahead of me is Caroline, this really hot chick, whose sexual exploits I know about, but of course she has no idea I know. My ex-housemate Dave, skidmark champ of Britain, just walked by--he always walks by, and I always make a big show of pretending not to see him by looking away and keeping my head averted till he has passed.

Homecoming is upon me. My main concern about coming home is becoming the person I used to be. Perpetually crabby, perpetually irritated at something trivial. Johann thinks it's possible to consciously make the effort to not slide back into that old pattern, but I know my faults and I know that before long, the people, the climate, the feeling that something is hounding me will be on my back and I won't be able to shake it off. And it's scary to think about it but my friends, my family, my cat; collectively they're just not enough to warrant a deep desire to come home again. But well, I have one more semester to go. Till my return home, till my next great escape and my next big goodbye... I have to study...

posted by beautiful at 1:34 am