I half-lie when I wish people a Happy New Year. Although I hope everyone has a good one, the new year is still always a depressing time for most, myself included. I used to not like counting down because I didn't want to let go of what was behind me, but now it's more about not wanting to move forward. I have come to understand that the past exists only in our memories, and more often than not it is a romanticised version of the past. The value of things can change. Circumstances and relationships can change. And because we can't evolve fast enough to keep pace we end up feeling overwhelmed, tired and lonely. I can't bring myself to reach out to those whom I love and who are hurting because I don't know how, but it doesn't mean I don't care. Let's just get past today, and we'll take things from there.

posted by beautiful at 2:45 am

It's 2am, I actually am very tired, but overpowering this lethargy is a rising sense of panic that I am going to be an old spinster for the rest of my life. Girl... you'll be a woman soon and all that. Well this woman is hurtling at an alarming rate towards hormonal imbalance, a litter of cats as substitutes for real men and a sad, pathetic life that revolves around a 9-5 and then MSN chatrooms. Ok, I need to stop this. 2005. Self love (God forbid if I ever become this desperate). Here we go.

posted by beautiful at 10:04 am