What an excellent way to start the weekend. Wake up at 10.30am. Eat chocolate cake for breakfast - we won't discuss the calorie intake, the unbearable guilt you understand? Lie in bed and moan about school. Wash face. Lie in bed and moan some more while doorbell rings. Accost person at the door and grab my parcel. Snap photos to celebrate Amazon being 3 weeks early. The rest, as they say, is history. AAhhhhhhh.





This is what makes me happy on a Saturday. Period.

posted by beautiful at 8:08 pm

I've found The One! After months of waiting, I've finally found a gentleman. I'm so impressed, and my faith has temporarily been restored in men. He didn't just give way to me, he moved to the side and nodded at me and made a gesture to let me pass. Three cheers for men with manners!!! But minus points for the gaudy Nike Prestos.

Still, this is great cause for celebration. After constantly being the one to let guys ahead on the bus and through the door, I am thrilled to see that traditional sentiments still do exist. Since feminists have opened their great gobs and started proselytizing in their misguided efforts to level the playing field, men have probably started to think that they can shirk their natural duties. They're just not living up to expectations anymore, and I apportion the blame ENTIRELY to feminists who go around insisting on their equal abilities to do what men can do, if not better. The way I see it, they've screwed other womens' dreams, so next time some pseudo feminist comes up to you, remember that she's the reason us poor girls have to open our own doors, take the bus home after dates and basically have been forced to wear the pants.

posted by beautiful at 4:40 am

I missed a phone call from Suili by 8 minutes. Then again she might just have rung me accidentally. It happens all the time, people just don't bother locking their phones and I literally have to pay for their mistakes.

Sui, if you're reading this, remember how I once expressed joking concern that Torbs would scribble my number on the backseat of a bus next to a huge 'Free Sex' sign or something? I kinda forgot to tell you, but I recently got a call from a man asking me if I was a masseuse. Now correct me if I'm wrong but isn't that a euphemism for PROSTITUTE?

posted by beautiful at 7:38 am

You know how sometimes you feel so depressed, and that nothing will ever make you happy again? Do you also know the comforting platitude to that one? I'll attempt a cover version, shall I?

Without the ups and downs in your life you'll never appreciate the happier moments.

Something to that effect - mind you, I'm not saying it's untrue. But if I'm depressed all the time I'm hardly likely to have that dazzling revelation am I! So I decide there must be a way to go around this such that if you're a depressive maniac you never have to listen to what you think is bullshit again, and if you're those people who see the world in neon pink and neon green and neon purple, you'll never have to anticipate duller moments: let's all just stop having emotions. And there you have it: the ULTIMATE status-quo.

But it doesn't really work that way. This is real life, and more and more I'm beginning to realise that all manner of unjustified suffering that we have absolutely zero control over is our purgatory. Live with it.

posted by beautiful at 6:24 pm