This Christmas I have been a bit of a scrooge. I have been impatient and I have lost my temper. Old habits do not die off even on special occasions.

I feel as if it is some sort of test. To seek out the Christmas spirit (if there is one) in the midst of my human failings. To try and feel the charity and compassion and joy that is supposed to accompany the season. I feel nothing!

It's scary that I spend every year looking forward to this day and when it arrives it's not as special as I thought it would be. I'm not disappointed though. Just thinking... about what I can do to make this day different from all the others...

posted by beautiful at 3:46 am

Oh fuck! I'm sunburnt! This is really bad, I wanted to be darker but this really is going too far. I'm RED. It's not a blush, or a drunken flush, I'm the colour of red wedding eggs! Like OH GAWD!

posted by beautiful at 3:39 am

There are songs that bands will always wish they had been the ones to write. This is the piece that I wish I had written.

I agreed with every word. But am I guilty of idol worship? Exalting a false god? I never meant to.

Currently on my reading list is a book called Standing Room Only. It's about the rock 'n' roll lifestyle seen from the viewpoint of a dinosaur tour leader who used to work in a museum. It sounds like trash, it looks like trash, but there are some priceless gems in it. So anyone who's ever loved a band, you must read this, for general knowledge's sake.

posted by beautiful at 6:46 pm