I hope the person who stole my diskette gets herpes. And huge boils on his/her face. So that when I see him/her I can walk up to him/her and burst them with my fist.

But to all my loyal supporters, I finished the essay against all odds, like a back that still aches like fuck, and distraction, and raging madness. Peace.

posted by beautiful at 10:35 pm

What is this world coming to. My maid and I just discovered my umbrella hanging outside my neighbour's house. I lost it a couple of weeks back when the wind blew my wet umbrella away. Like, they didn't have the fucking decency to ask if we had lost one? I always knew they were a good-for-nothing bunch of show offs. It's people like these who stole my diskette as well. Fuckers.

posted by beautiful at 1:07 am

I dunno, I dunno, I dunno... why this week is so horribly, horribly, horribly bad.

Someone special once reminded me to have faith in humanity. I can't keep up the fight anymore. The things that happen to me... well they're either really funny, or...

Someone stole my diskette from the computer lab. I forgot to take it out of the drive ( stupid STUPID ME!) and it's got all my half written assignments in it. One or two of you know that I've been struggling with this particular essay for some time, I spent 2 afternoons writing only 1000+ words. And now it's gone because the fucking Indian guy who found it (I have a witness who said she saw him asking around whose disk it was) couldn't be arsed to open up the files, check out my name or my module or my lecturer and just pass it to me through them. He didn't leave it in the lost and found box. He didn't report it to the office. He just, I dunno, I dunno what he fucking did with my hot pink diskette. I just wonder, why can't that person have bothered to return it to me - does he not know how much effort I put into my work, and how much I needed that stupid thing?! Why is he so fucking selfish! If someone had lost that diskette I would have done something to ensure he got it back. Am I imposing my moral standards on someone else? Am I wrong to believe that this is how people should be, simply because it's the right thing to do? What kind of things did they learn from their parents?

I'm just so mad. I can't believe anyone could be so unkind.

Yesterday a guy was in such a rush to get somewhere that he pushed past me roughly and scratched my shoulder. Another person brushed against the side of my bag so roughly that it burst the tube of industrial strength glue (I put it there in case the sole of my slipper came off again) and the glue splattered on my arm. Best part? I thought it was water and wiped it off on my pants. Then I realised it was yellowish and sticky, like mucous. I rushed to the toilet and started wiping the gunk off with wet tissue. Wet tissue, glue, disaster. The glue was hardening on my skin too, and I was scrubbing so furiously everyone was giving me looks like I have some sorta OCD. So basically I've been damn unlucky this week.

And I've had 2 encounters with dead, rotting lizards.
1. Stepped on one that was resting in peace outside my bedroom. With my bare feet. Went 'pop'. I thought it was bubble paper, but no... it was kinda reminiscent of Burns being catapulted into the dead German soldier's gas filled belly.
2. I sat on the steps of the scholars block today cos I was super early for class. Kinda noticed the smell of cow dung. Didn't realise until later that was I sitting on the remains of a fat, black, decomposed lizard.

Why God? WHY?

posted by beautiful at 8:47 pm

I just woke up and already I'm pissed off. It's not like anything major happened, I think it's a cumulative effect of all that's happened in the past 24 hours.

I was introduced to Jon's new girlfriend yesterday. I admit I'm already biased towards her cos I still like his ex a lot and she was special to my parents as well. So I'm not exactly jumping for joy that this new one has appeared out of thin air. She just smiled at me and said hi and returned to reading her newspaper. I already know that I will not get to know her any better. This morning I saw her again and I just looked away.

I woke up at 6.15am this morning because I heard a bottle crashing. I thought maybe it was just some drunk throwing Guinness bottles over the railing but it turned out that some people were fighting in the next block. I heard a man screaming in pain and the sounds of someone hitting something with a stick and people were yelling in some stupid dialect (as usual, no one above 40 speaks English in this dumb country). I waited for it to pass so I could fall asleep again but it got worse, so I took my pillows and stuff to my parent's room, where I could still hear the situation escalate. So I went outside to see what the fuck was going on. You could see two families standing on the corridor, someone was really holding a stick. Another, presumably the injured one, was sitting on the floor. The guy with the stick was smashing the windows of this house. It's 6 frigging am. Who the hell fights at 6am! People called the police. My maid said 6 of them came with 1 paramedic and they wheeled the injured man off. This is why I can't stand living here sometimes. Everything that ever happens is a public affair.

I'm also really pissed with my brothers. Jon bought me porridge for breakfast, but left a gigantic egg in it. It's not as if he doesn't know that I HATE eggs, cos I told him so last week when he cracked a raw egg in my noodles. So I thought I'd eat cereal. I took out the milk, opened the box, and you have about two teaspoonfuls of Honey Nut rabbit food left there. Why, WHY do guys always have the idiotic habit of leaving just a little bit left inside? This happens all the damn time, they leave a mouthful of orange juice in the carton, one last biscuit left in the container. It pisses me off. Everything does. Fuck yourself and drop dead.

posted by beautiful at 7:47 pm

The situation is not funny.

It's pretty outside, the sky is purplish grey with streaks of yellow. I imagine that if I dive into the open air I'll float in the coldness. Kinda like being in a swimming pool, just you and the water.

Why do I let school make me so unhappy... why can't school be something that's potentially joyful and relaxing? Something that I look forward to? Why is it that although the government is constantly introducing reforms to the system, I'm still not happy... am I being difficult or are they still not doing it right?

Someday when I'm a minister, I'm going to get things done.

posted by beautiful at 3:52 am

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posted by beautiful at 2:10 am