Yeah, I just about feel myself slowly losing it. The fucking printer is jammed, I dunno how to fucking write the lit essay, I can't think of a fucking question for the proposal, fucking Microsoft Explorer can't open the fucking ladybug program I need to practise on for Tuesday's class, my classmate is fucking asking retarded questions on the forum that I have already addressed in black and white, I don't have the fucking time to go and meet the professor AGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

posted by beautiful at 1:10 am

The weather must be changing slowly, because I am constantly sneezing when the aircon gets too cold. I even pull the blanket over my head now at 26 deg C, and hell I never used to do that. Today my nose is acting up again, and it makes it so hard for me to focus on getting work out of the way.

I would really love to bitch about my American lecturer but I don't want to get over excited. The strain of rising from the computer chair to receive the printout of his reading questions causes a blood rush to my head. God, I'm so tired. Keep me going please. So many things to do, so little strength and time. Why do I bother, honestly, when it's all so ephemeral? All the effort I put in on my free day just for 2 hours tomorrow? You would argue that 2 hours eventually opens the door to my future. Is that really the bigger picture of my life? Why does this semester feel like a 13 week long 2.4km run, with me struggling round after round? I think I was crazy before.

Maybe CG tomorrow will put things into perspective. Maybe that's the reason I joined in the first place.

posted by beautiful at 2:44 am