How many times have I left myself get affected by the things that others say or do? It's their problem, not yours. The first person to tell me this was Olivia, my ex-colleague from Alliance, and the second was my mum. Yeah. I guess.

One of my friends has suggested that I find a guy on Emode. You know, where they consolidate all your test results and match you up with some random guy who is similar to yourself. You don't need to find a guy on the street, you do it right here. All because I lamented how getting started in a relationship is an exhausting process that can sometimes be hardly worth your while. So because you don't see this person face to face, you are less vulnerable. You don't worry about rejection or having to make eye contact or all the other shameless flirting techniques. Cos it's supposed to be virtual reality right? Just for fun. My response was 'you're crazy'. Let me amend that. This is crazy. Everything is. I just decided.

posted by beautiful at 6:03 am

I nearly threw up trying to get past round one of Pacman World 2. (It's 3D)

This evening, I heard Remember Me This Way on the radio. We sang it in sec two for our class talentime, and that's how Hannah got to know me as Miss Loony Bin. That was like, five years ago. I hoard a lot of sentimental crap and it keeps breaking me down at every turning point in my life. Whenever it's time to move on and let go, I can't help but keep looking back again and again. It's unsettling when things settle in a comfort zone and then circumstances come bulldozing through your bubble. Then you realise here we go again, weep a bit and force yourself to move on.

I thank God for all the constants in my life. Whether they're its or hes or shes, I need them all now more than ever.

posted by beautiful at 5:18 am

Orientation starts tomorrow. I have this whole cavalier attitude going on, and it serves me well for now.
Please God, help me not to be afraid!

Some part of me is scared, because I have no idea what to expect in the year ahead. What will uni life be like.. what will class be like.. will I meet nice people.. will it work out the way junior college did.. will I fit in.. will I be happy.. will I adjust well.. will I find equilibrium again..

Strategy for tomorrow: smile and smile and smile and pray like hell.

posted by beautiful at 8:18 pm