I've reached a point where thinking about the future depresses and stresses me out. I could spend a whole hour whining about it here but I can really just sum it up in one sentence: I don't have the strength to go on facing all the problems that keep surfacing one after another. I certainly won't have the strength to deal with any possible disappointment considering the effort I've put in, the amount of time I've spent worrying myself sick and all those debates I had with my mum, trying so hard to sell my view to the point where I could see how I was driving her nuts. What if all this comes to nothing?

And my goodness, I'm going for NUS Open House tomorrow morning, because it is one possibility that I have to face. And so God has given me this set of options, but He's given others seemingly better ones and I ask why? I daren't even consider that maybe, just maybe I am meant to stay after all this is over and done with...

posted by beautiful at 6:26 am

Such power... such grace... I think we can all learn something from this man. Personally I've always drawn strength from the fact that he obtained 3Cs for his GCE 'A' levels, it sort of gave me an excuse to be nonchalant about grades and school, because you look at the star that he is and think 'wow, he's perfect'. Of course, I'm just biased, but he looks triumphant doesn't he?

"When you're a human being growing up in a Western city, you're constantly confronted with things like class and money. I didn't want to compete on any of those levels. It's not a competition someone from my background even thinks of winning, so why bother?"

Brett's upbringing in Haywards heath (where his dad still lives, working as a taxi driver) has become somewhat legendary. The Andersons genuinely didn't have two pennies to rub together, but Brett and his sister Blondine grew up on a diet of Chopin and Penguin Classics, cheaply acquired because his neighbours didn't value such things; Haywards Heath being one of those places where Saturday night's alright for fighting and very little else.

So after ten years in a limelight he's always been ambivalent about, Brett Anderson's finally gotten to a place in his own head that he's comfortable with. Sometimes that's how long it takes - and we're lucky we didn't lose someone who clearly has so much more to offer us, one of the few popstars of his generation that hasn't succumbed to myth, publicity, or worse. "Obviously we've never been a rock'n'roll band in that bloated, cliched sense. Yet I'm aware that people get consumed by Suede, making it part of a lifestyle instead of having it on in the background somewhere. It's not exactly wallpaper. If you like us, and like our music, you just might have a mind of your own."

posted by beautiful at 12:45 am