I want to quit my job so badly, but fear keeps me from walking out. On the other hand fear also keeps me from quitting, because then I'll have no money. They say time is money because every second you earn something. One hour later you have six dollars. One day later you have sixty. One month later you have a lot. [Although one CPF deducation later you are hovering over ground zero.] I don't want to swallow my pride every time some ang moh needs an ego boost. I don't want to go home feeling like I'm the stupid, undignified one. I hate to put up with this rubbish just because I'm on the other side of the counter.
I have recently discovered how important it is to watch what you say in an interview. The innocent in me wants to just blab everything out - lay your cards on the table, and if they want you they'll take you. The mercenary in me says 'Shut up if you know what's good for you. Don't say anything that could jeopardize your chance of getting this, your reputation, your future benefits.' Which path do you take? Why is it so hard to live in the real world? Why is there dishonesty, vicious politics and prejudice? The tactics we employ to cover up our insecurity breeds even more disillisionment in the long run. Is it worth it?
I so badly want to be alone, but I don't know how.
posted by beautiful at 7:44 pm
You know you're lucky when something terrible happens and you know who to call. Maybe this person's mobile number, home number, 2nd home phone number and mother's mobile number are stored in your SIM card. One of my good friends is leaving for further education tomorrow. My life is going to suffer one gaping hole without her.
posted by beautiful at 2:26 am
When you've see that you have no options, or at least you cannot see any options. What can you do?
Best guess? Trust in the lord? Listen to your heart? Read your horoscope?
This is a quote I got off a random blog I was surfing. Sometimes I do feel very lost.There is a great inner debate between Religion and Pragmatism. Do you turn the cheek and await the next strike, or do you rise to the occasion like a warrior? Do you turn to God, to patron saints, to practising works of mercy - or do you turn against others? I know the answer. I may not know what lies ahead beyond tomorrow, but I think God will provide. He makes all things beautiful in His time. Just grant me strength to do what is right, and to do Your will.
posted by beautiful at 2:19 am
