Men: they turn you on and then turn on you.
Well, work is going fine, thank you. I enjoy most parts of my day, because retail is an interactive experience, but I really dislike customers who waste my time with silly questions, or rude customers, or demanding ones. Mostly I'm happy because I have made new friends at work, and because there's a dark and deadly looking Pizza Hut rider who walks by a few times each day, and he likes to stare in while I like to stare out. There is a prospect of me getting a transfer to an outlet nearer to home, but I am sceptical of how advantageous it will be in the long run. For instance, there are no chairs at that outlet, the supervisor is too cute to work alongside with, there will be too many familiar faces lurking around in the east, the toilet is unisex [yuck], I may be the only female there and I may not fit in as well as I already have. The only plus points of the transfer are, I won't have to top up my EZlink card every week like I do now, and I can wake up later when I go to work. And a hell lot more variety of food.

Enough rambling about my inconsequential life. There seems to be an awful lot of negative karma floating around for so early in the year of 2003. It sounds like I'm preaching, but I'm not. My mum recently told me that a happy person is a thankful person. Most of us have attempted the murderous task of 50 positive things, done in a bid to cheer me up last year. As a tribute to these people, and to all the others in my life who need that little spark, I give you:

50 things I have to be thankful for
1. Suede...
2. ... who are coming in two weeks!!!
3. Parents who are still together
4. Siblings, who add spice to my boring life when I least expect it
5. My sweet, fuzzy, squeeze-able and yummy little hamsters
6. Friends - all of them
7. My gorgeous mattress
8. The new year
9. The gift of life from God
10. The gift of Baptism
11. Education
12. A roof over my head
13. Food to eat whenever the cravings start
14. Communication, whether by SMS, ICQ, telephone, snail mail, email or shoutouts
15. A closet full of clothes
16. An umbrella that keeps the sun and rain away
17. An obscene number of shoes
18. The ability to understand and write in Mandarin
19. The prospect of a further education
20. Plans for a holiday to Spain
21. My job
22. My partial financial independence
23. My adaptability to a new life, after only 1 week of moping over lost youth
24. Friends who trust me enough to confide
25. Friends who care enough to remember I exist
26. People with whom I celebrate the passing of my life
27. Technology that enhances my lifestyle
28. Sturdy furniture, as opposed to blocks of ice/mud/straw
29. The invention of medicine
30. God's promise of eternal life
31. Literacy
32. I have values
33. I have a mind
34. I have a heart
35. ... that pleasantly surprises me when I act out of love...
36. I have health, and an able body
37. I have many reasons to love and trust humanity
38. ... and the free will to forget this at my convenience...
39. The beautiful art around me
40. Books, which are faithful companions
41. Memories of all things good and bad, which are forms of instruction for the future
42. Having the chance to grow up
43. Having every reason to be proud of my country
44. The colour black
45. Support and faith from my friends and family
46. The fact that my opinions matter
47. I possess some talents
48. I am loved
49. I can love
50. Catholicism

posted by beautiful at 6:41 am

I watched Four Weddings and a Funeral last night with my mother. It's a funny movie, completely unlike any other I've seen in the way the script goes, and it's put together in such a sketchy way that it's not exactly up there with Men in Black - but it reminded me of a conversation I had with a guy in an MRT station one December day.
How do you know you'll definitely get married? It's just another assumption.
After the death of Gareth, Tom is speaking to Charles [the legendary Hugh Grant] about marriage. And he repeats those exact same words I said to that guy. The only difference is, I was 17 when I started to think about tying the knot, and these men in the movie are straddling the mid-life-bachelor crisis. Before Gareth's death, he proposes a toast to true love. Personally, I think many of us wouldn't know what true love was until it ran up to us and punched us in the vital parts, or until it ran away. Yes, it's a big cliche, you never know what you have until you lose it. Something like what Ling just said about throwing a coin in mid air. You'll know what you truly want when you're about to find out that you've lost it to a coin toss. Also like thoughts on suicide. They say that while you're plunging to your death, or while you're lying on the floor with 100 tablets inside you, your desire to live will peak like never before.
We don't really know what we want, do we? Neither do we really know ourselves. Socrates devoted his whole life to the pursuit of knowledge and wisdom, especially that pertaining to himself. And this is why I say:
I know the me that was then, but it's not until tomorrow that I'll know the me now.

posted by beautiful at 6:59 pm