Which ArchAngel are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla

posted by beautiful at 6:39 am

It's a refreshing experience to be walking on the beach on a Sunday evening. For one, the wind is nice and cool as the tide comes in, and there are so many people around, it's almost like a public holiday. Lisa was in hunter mode as usual and I made the mistake of telling her that studies have proven that women who walk their dogs have three times greater a chance of meeting a guy. I saw only one guy with a good body today. He was wearing only red jogging shorts, which suddenly [this is weird] makes me wonder for someone's sake what Trevor looks like in only red jogging shorts. Lol. I also ran into two men from my church - they're the ministers who go around collecting money during offertory. Like omigosh, this sounds so dumb but they have a water cooler along the way! It's amazing, it's probably recycled seawater or something, and most of the people who passed by were rinsing their grubby paws in it. But as a credit to me, I drank from it. Twice. If I can drink that, I can drink anything. Newater, Disillisioned's backflow, Soulitary's backflow, blah blah.
Oh the Rosary people are coming to my home tomorrow to set up the shrine. I am excited because October is the Rosary month and I have complete faith that my sleep will start to improve anytime when the prayers start. YES! Anyone who reads this blog is welcome to come and join in the intercession, pray for good health, good grades, more faith in Jesus, better spiritual life, or come and see the cats! Yes, there are cats who have made their home among my mum's plants. A grey and white cat with stripes and her kittens. I'm just wondering how they got there in the first place - the lift?!? We only found out last night cos as I was lying in bed between 11 and 2, there was this diabolical shrieking outside and when I went to investigate the cat ran past me. My mum forbids anyone to feed them because she doesn't want to encourage a sense of dependency in them, so I guess her word is law. But she likes to poke around the plants so I've warned her not to do it in case the cat gets pissed and kills her. Hell hath no fury like a lactating cat. I'm rambling so much I can't formulate a conclusion to this whole thing. So I'll just stop now.

posted by beautiful at 6:24 am

What kind of Goth would you be?
brought to you by Quizilla
You're a Velvety-Mopey-Goth! You're wardrobe isn't condusive to heat, water, or the natural range of human movement. People may think you're cheesy, but you know it's just because their infantile minds can't fully comprehend the insurmountable anguish of your existence.

I'm so dead, I lost my UCAS username and password! Never mind I guess I'll just sign in again and hopefully they won't know it's me.

posted by beautiful at 1:16 am

What (non drugstore) Makeup Brand Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

posted by beautiful at 6:56 pm

Bury me an angel
I had a wonderful evening at Lofty's today, sitting there with all the people I've come to spend most of my JC life with. People who have made my JC life enjoyable. Even doing stuff as inane as watching Cartoon Network [that which I'd never do at home!] and playing charades [that which I hate] was pleasurable this time round - I especially liked Chris's [Kwa's] imitation of the flamingo. Did you see how hard Lofty was laughing? Soulitary was rolling on the carpet and Disillusioned's knees were knocking mine as we were screaming. And the food... I regret not getting to eat everything, I actually wasn't hungry. Shah and I were prowling around Lofty's room [with his permission] trying to find Samson but it was probably under the bed and we didn't dare turn on the lights, so it was a vain attempt. I hope we get to do this again sometime. It was so beautiful.
Portrait of a dead girl nearly drowning
I haven't been sleeping very well lately. I wake up a few times in the middle of the night and toss about in bed before drifting off again. I know something's bugging me -something that makes me lethargic and restless, yet unable to fully dissolve into sleep. I can't even focus on my books. It took me a full hour to read Lofty's latest handout on King Lear, I kept getting distracted. It may be the weather, which is atrocious these days, and it may be the fact I've been getting all annoyed with my mum. Exam stress? University application stress? I suspect so. Oh God help me.

posted by beautiful at 7:14 am

Disillusioned
I hate it too when people hit me on the head, when they ignore me, when the crowds swarm around and when people dog-ear or bend the spine of my books. Your tenth number one is pretty much like what was my No. 9, until I deleted it because it doesn't quite make the Top 10. What also wasn't in my Top 10 was: when my phone turns off in the middle of me smsing because there's no signal. Anyway, here are some of my musings with regards to your blog.
"i'm always envious of others who can be so open with their feelings.......... why can't i be the same?"
You know, kissing and hugging and saying I love you isn't always the most important. True, it's the easiest way of externalising affection and affirming the receiver of how much you love him/her. But it's not the only way. The way you tell me you love me is when you always want to hug me when we part company, even if I'm grumpy. It's in the way you'd willingly let me copy your PC notes when I skip Harris's lecture to have lunch with Lisa. It's in the way you eat rojak with me when you're not hungry. It's in the way you brought me The Observer, knowing I would murder you if you ruined it with your sweaty hands [low blow?] It's in the way you keep asking me along to BlueNote even when you know I dislike Danny but [I think] still care enough to ask. It's in the way you help me construct my set when you haven't gotten down to your acting. To other people, it's when you carry the dog out of the room because someone's scared of it. It's in the way you sacrifice studying for Paper 3 because someone needs your ear. It's also in the way you put yourself through GP because you owe it to Tac, even if you never pay attention.
See, I've shown you how loving you can be, so why do you still doubt yourself? Your capacity to love isn't seen in the number of kisses you blow to people, or the number of times you can say I love you without becoming jaded. It's in how you never tire of brightening other peoples' days, and giving and giving and giving...
I could never be like you.

Paul
You make your debut here in my blog just as I have promised. I don't have much to tell you at the moment, except that I miss you and I can't wait for Christmas. Really, just learn to cut loose and enjoy yourself while you can, it's less than a year to go. If time is so hard to spend, just go outside and get me my Cosmopolitan. I like the US ones better. And by the way, does Candice ever check her email, cos she whined that I never email her...I did, but she didn't reply!
Ok, gotta hit the books again. You take care and keep praying. Cheers.

posted by beautiful at 10:53 pm

More complaints! My mother broke her bathroom door handle right off the door and so I can't lock it anymore. The implication is that everytime I take a bath now I have to use Scotch tape to tape the door to the frame in case the wind blows the door right open and an accident occurs like the one in Sentosa circa August 2001. Soulitary, I am determined not to let history repeat itself, because this time I am the one with everything to lose. Oh yeah I bumped into Mrs S. Hoe today. The name is still as unfortunate. I can't believe she still remembers me and she was talking to me like I'm actually her equal. Wow. I almost feel bad for talking about her behind her back all the time.
On a lighter note [irony] I will now post our exclusive feature for today.
My Top 10 Pet Peeves
1. People stepping on my shoes
2. Having to wait for people when we meet outside
3. Having appointments cancelled on me
4. Being spoken to, or worse, nagged when I've just got out of bed
5. The lift at the top floor when I reach the lobby [which is not as bad as the lift at the top floor, with 5 other people waiting too, which means that on my way up I have to stop at the 3rd, 6th, 7th, 8th, 10th floor before my own]
6. Slow people walking in front of me [even worse on a narrow path, or when I run for the bus. Warning: I actually push.]
7. Bad service, or over-eager salesgirls with stalker/clingy tendencies
8. Me peeling my own nails
9. When people condescend me
10. My family members hovering around when I'm blogging/ writing emails/ talking on the phone and making conversation with me because I cannot multi-task, or people making conversation with me caught in the middle

posted by beautiful at 3:49 am

Email sent to MTVAsia
Dear Sir/Madam,

the October issue of the SCV magazine states that MTV will be airing the AOTM/Hot Seat programme on 2nd October, 7-8pm. However right at this moment M-Pop is on instead. I would appreciate an explanation for this discrepancy in what you print and what you actually air, because I was hoping to catch this programme. I hope you will look into this matter and prevent the same thing from occurring in the near future as it will avoid failed expectations in certain viewers.

Thank you for your time.

*name goes here*

posted by beautiful at 4:15 am

I am currently feeling extremely guilty. Upset. Disturbed. Even a little pissed off.
"why are you so cold to me...blah blah... you mean so much to me..." I got one of those forwarded smses from some unknown number and naturally this knocked me up a bit when I hadn't found out who the sender was. I was immediately thinking is it Debbie...who was commenting earlier today that I was being hostile. I admit I was hostile to her, because I was mad with her. Not really mad mad, more like whatever mad. She had said that people were treating her hostile-ly today and still I was giving her this tight half-smile that said 'go away'. I do feel bad about this now, because I did not regard her feelings - if she had been having a bad day I would have been another reason why she's feeling depressed. Right?
I am doubly guilty because today I also kind of avoided this guy. Well I've been avoiding him/ignoring him for a long time now, almost a year. I saw him climbing up the steps towards me today and I quickly stepped to the side and sort of hid behind someone else, not wanting to see him. Normally this avoidance tactic of mine would be forgotten the moment I'd done it, but no, not now since I have gotten that anonymous sms. Can you see why I'm annoyed? Because I've been reminded of the hurt I've inflicted, and yet it was something I'd done because I wanted to protect myself. Hurt as I had or have been, I think that's never a good enough reason to react so meanly. I suppose people's treatment of me does not justify the reciprocal behaviour on my part does it?
I know I was a bitch in being so mean, especially to Deb because I do care alot about her. Nonetheless bitches are human. That's why I feel like a little shit now. I am sorry. But I can't promise I won't act like this again, know what I mean?
Soulitary, we all feel a little guilty sometimes. I suppose it's for the better, because then we stop right where we are and cross-examine ourselves. We've had a lot going for us, we are lucky people. So what? Thinking about what makes you guilty does not change what you have done or what you haven't done, what you have or what you don't have. My advice is to embrace that guilt. Then it will go away.

posted by beautiful at 2:13 am

Suede is MTV Asia's ARTIST OF THE MONTH.
It seems like God has been really kind to me where my love for this band is concerned. First I get to meet them even though I shouldn't have been so lucky. Then I get all these wonderful articles and pictures courtesy of friends, teachers, my own pure resourcefulness. =) And of course they triumphantly sit on the throne all of this October. Suede shall be there to uplift me as I trudge wearily towards November. Thank you God.

posted by beautiful at 6:59 am

A New Morning is released after four months of waiting.
This is the day, this is the day that Lord has made! It has been exactly three years since I saw Suede in concert at the Harbour Pavilion. It's so amazing how time flies, and how after three years my life has changed, yet my passion for Suede still burns like a brand new candle.
I met my cousin at the bus stop outside Somerset and we had dinner before taking a bus down to the World Trade Centre. I distinctly remember Neil sitting at his keyboards, stage right, and how he'd walk off in the middle of a song when he had nothing to do, and later how he'd half-lunge/half-stride/half-bounce back onstage. I think he was wearing a black shirt with this yellow stripe across his scrawny ol' chest. I remember this awe descend on me as I walked out of the place when the gig ended. I was star-struck.
Now three years later he's left the band. I don't suppose anyone foresaw how it'd come to this? On my bed sits the new album which I have yet to listen to. Neil shares some of the co-writing credits but he is not photographed in the sleeve and neither is he mentioned. I feel a certain sense of loss for him. There is a very poignant quality about the new album. It's like, the whole band has gone on to start a new chapter of the band's history and Neil no longer has a place among that experience.
It's very painful to see people moving on ahead of you, while you are still stuck in limbo, in oblivion. It's very painful to be held back from pursuing a dream because you do not have the means to go forward.
To the solitary and disillusioned ones, I am sorry I spent this whole time mourning the loss of my favourite band member. Today, as much as it is a joyous and much-awaited occasion, also marks the end of an era. Neil John Codling will always be part of the Suede I fell in love with and still love today.

posted by beautiful at 5:15 am